For over two years I remained stuck on a huge life decision. Well, several actually. I knew in my heart that pursuing the path of art therapy was what I wanted to do, yet my fears of the unknown, self-doubt, and my idealistic views of what I thought things should look or feel like began to take over. I spent over two years taking the prerequisites needed for the master’s program, but as I was going through the motions, those overwhelming feelings of uncertainty clouded my mind. I even looked at schools, believing I would move out of state and start my journey elsewhere, but no school I looked at reeled me in 100 percent. I began to feel hopeless, doubting this was even the right path for me to take. There were many other factors, like money and work and starting a new life somewhere else. But no matter how many doubts I faced, I never let go of my deep burning desire to become an art therapist. Everything in me knew that this was what I needed to do. I had no idea how I would get there, but I just knew that I somehow would.
Fast forward three years later, and I am finally living what I wanted to manifest. I just started my Master’s in Art Therapy program two months ago, and I am forever grateful to myself for not giving up on my dream. I have realized that it did not matter which path I took to get to that end goal, just as long as I chose one. I was stuck for so long on deciding so many things: whether to keep working at a reading clinic that I knew wasn’t right for me (more on this in another post), thoughts about pursuing a master’s degree in fine arts, moving across the country for the experience not knowing what I would do for work, start teaching in a classroom, start some kind of business, or choosing an away program for art therapy vs. the online hybrid program I am now currently enrolled.
I must say I had many doubts about this hybrid program. There are even some days I start to wonder what it would be like if I just visited one more school that appealed to me, like Mount Mary’s program with Bruce Moon. I read Moon’s book Introduction to Art Therapy: Faith in the Product which touches on existential art therapy, and I fell in love with it. It definitely made me wonder what it would be like being there now, with Moon as one of my professors. But it doesn’t matter. I made a decision and I am grateful. My experience so far has had its challenges, as much of it is online. But I have the support and connections with 24 other individuals in the same exact boat. We all connected while in Indiana for a week, and there hasn’t been a week, or even 3 days straight, that has gone by without someone posting on our Facebook group page. I feel like they are right there with me. They are like my distant family and I cannot wait to see them again in January. And now, I have friends in all parts of the country. I cannot wait to see what happens next. I am excited, nervous, overwhelmed, doubtful at times, but still absolutely certain that I am where I am supposed to be.